Beer For Those Who Hate Beer

By Lauren Jeu

 

As a 5’2”, 107 lbs. girl who suffers from the Asian Flush Syndrome, it should come as no surprise that alcohol and I don’t mix. Over the past year, I’ve found a few cocktails and wines that I enjoy (and can tolerate) but I just couldn’t understand how anyone could ever like beer. I hate it – the smell, the taste, the ­aftertaste. I would be at parties, holding my Solo cup full of water while watching people get beer after beer after beer and think to myself, “Why would anyone ever drink this?”

“It’s an acquired taste” and “You’ll get used to it if you drink it enough” were the responses I would receive from my friends. But what if I didn’t want to get used to it? I am perfectly happy not liking a drink full of empty calories that tastes like urine. And not waking up to a hangover.

However, being one of the few people at the party without a drink in your hand can feel awkward and isolating. What if I want to play beer pong, but want to omit the beer? What if I want to cut loose every once in a while, but beer is the only drink available?

But I’ll let you in on a secret: there are a few beers that I actually like. Shocking, I know. Luckily, I’ve found a few brews that I can actually drink a whole bottle of and enjoy. If you think you hate beer, check out these selections and see if you change your mind!

 

1. Schöfferhofer Grapefruit by Radeberger Gruppe (available at Schweinhaus BBQ on Overton Square)

 

Photo: Source
 

This is probably the most popular beer recommended to me by my friends and for good reason. I recently tried this crisp and refreshing drink and I had an “I can’t believe it’s alcoholic” moment. The stuff tastes like fizzy grapefruit juice and happiness. The best part, you can barely taste the alcohol.


2. Not Your Father’s Root Beer by Small Town Brewery

 

Photo: Source
 

Earthy, spicy, and sweet, the Not Your Father’s really is just root beer with a slight alcoholic kick. It tastes like the good root beer – not the kind you get from the soda aisle at the grocery store. It can be pretty filling, so if you’re a lightweight like me this is a good excuse to just drink one beer.


3. Crisp Apple Hard Cider by Angry Orchard

 

Photo: Source
 

Alright, you got me, this isn’t really a beer. But it comes in a bottle that looks like beer and has alcohol in it, so it’s good enough for me. This drink has a light, tart taste mixed with sweet apple flavor. Definitely a grown-up version of apple juice, the Angry Orchard is probably my go-to drink at more casual social gatherings.


4. Ginger Beer

 

Photo: Source
 

Okay, this one isn’t a beer either, but it is a main ingredient in a lot of cocktails. It’s different from ginger ale and has more flavor than club soda or seltzer. It’s a light, bubbly, and refreshing non-alcoholic drink filled with ginger and sweetness. My philosophy: everyone else will be too drunk to notice that I’m sober anyway.


So, the next time you find yourself at a party with nothing to drink, try one of these beer alternatives because you deserve to have a good time and have a good drink in your hand too.


Follow us all week for National Beer Week!
Read our previous articles:

Introduction

How ‘Bout a Pint? - A Crash Course in Beer Culture

Drinking in Memphis – An Overview of Local Breweries

Beer Brewing Monks

Pints, Growlers, or Barrels: Galleon Staff Picks


Lauren Jeu is the Creative Editor for The Galleon and a major in Natural Science with minors in Visual Arts and Graphic Design at Christian Brothers University.

Posted by Editorial Board at 11:16 AM

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