Director Zach Snyder Announces Sequel, Batman Marries Superman

By: Josh Colfer

Last Thursday, director Zach Snyder announced plans to embark on a sequel to the recently released Batman vs. Superman. Snyder held a press conference at Warner Brothers’ Burbank headquarters to a cheering crowd of reporters and superhero fanatics eager to hear news about the upcoming film.

“Because of the success of both Batman vs. Superman and the legacy of these two superheroes over the last fifty years,” remarked Snyder with a glean in his eye, “We’re following up with a sequel, Batman Marries Superman.”

Since the announcement last week, the upcoming feature has been hotly debated on social media, in bars and high school quads across the country.

Sixteen year-old Colton Powers of Fairfield High School in Suburban Illinois lamented to friend and jock Bryan Ritter during a break between Algebra II and English Composition recently. “Hey man, I’m cool with marriage between two dudes, especially ever since Brian and Sam were both named Homecoming Kings last year. But can they, like, really marry two superheroes who are saving the World all the time?”   

Powers is not alone in his skepticism of the upcoming sequel, but that’s not stopping Snyder from proceeding with production. He elaborated on the decision to put forth Batman Marries Superman on his blog, Complex Superheroes Uncut, in a post published this week. Apparently this idea began to germinate during the filming of Batman vs. Superman in the summer of 2015-a summer that also included a landmark Supreme Court decision requiring all states to grant marriage licenses to same-sex couples.    

The timing couldn’t have been worse. I was so excited about the supreme court decision and what that would mean for these characters I had fallen in love with throughout the course of making this movie, but I got the notification on my phone while we were shooting that scene where Ben has his shirt off and is lifting all those heavy pieces of industrial material to get ready for his big fight with Superman. I had to finish the first film and couldn’t really give myself to the idea just yet.

Snyder has always been a creator of hyper-masculine, half-naked male characters who form bonds with one another in the midst of trials and darkness-whether it’s outnumbered Spartans fighting an entire Persian army or superheroes entering their twilight years against the backdrop of nuclear war. They’re comfortable spilling the insides of their enemies in violent engagements, but they keep what’s inside their heart hidden from one another. This is what Snyder has been creating over the duration of his filmmaking career.    

Batman Marries Superman aims to be a different kind of movie.   

“I just feel that we’ve reached a place in our society where we can accept and even celebrate the loving union of a billionaire orphan and ultra-powerful alien who’s saved the Earth more times than his franchise has been remade,” Snyder recalled at the March 24th press conference.    

While Snyder isn’t giving away too many details, he does admit that he’s interested in how the couple manages to continue wrestling with the darker demons revealed in Man of Steel, The Dark Knight, and Batman vs. Superman, once they’re married. Potential storylines may include relocating from Bruce Wayne’s hermit-like manor for a penthouse overlooking uptown Metropolis (a convenient takeoff point for flying), researching in vitro fertilization that would combine the genes from both Clark and Bruce, and brunch dates with Lex Luther.    

Batman Marries Superman is scheduled to hit theaters in summer of 2017.


Happy April Fools from the Galleon! 


Posted by Josh Colfer at 11:01 AM

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